So it’s been a couple of days since my last post but i haven’t really had any interesting news!! Days have been pretty much the same…going to treatment..watching netflix..doing some spanish etc etc.
But one thing keeps cropping up that i felt i needed to write about. Atleast 4 people since i’ve got here have said ‘do you model’…usually followed by ‘you should’ and/or ‘you have the figure for it.’ Now i realised at this point they are making a number of presumptions…
- i am infact photogenic/could walk well on a catwalk..sadly this is not the case..i have a brilliant talent of angling myself towards a camera to make myself look like i have distorted features..also anyone who knows me knows i have an incredibly short body and ridiculously long limbs. So much so i dont really know what to do with them..meaning i place them awkwardly on pictures and have to wrap my arms around myself when walking. Failing that i can let them fling free but this puts anyone within a meter radius of me at high risk.
- That I actually have a passion for modelling..or even fashion?! It occured to me that these sorts of jobs shouldnt go to someone who is simply ‘thin enough’ over someone who actually would go to work everyday with a passion for it, enjoying every moment of it, and putting all their efforts into improving their profession each day.
- I was also a bit disheartened, as there seems to be so many campaigns these days against the whole size zero phenomenon, i really thought society had moved on from that now…also i dont understand how such an emaciated figure could ‘sell’ clothes anymore so than a coat hanger if im quite honest.I mentioned these campaigns before, those which promote self esteem and ‘bash’ eating disorders which is all well and good however this sets me up nicely for my next rant. Pro-ana material is never something that has been of any interest to me..i find it sickening that anyone would encourage another human being to experience the horrors of anorexia. But equally the ‘counter campaign’ of ‘real women have curves’ etc equally drive me round the bend. This is exactly the same as putting someone down who is overweight just in reverse! Not every female is born with an hour glass figure, and many will never get ‘curves’ no matter how hard they try, despite not having an eating disorder but does this make them any less female than the next woman?? NO! No it does not.
In my opinion a bikini body requires three elements. A body…a bikini to put on it…and the confidence to wear it with happiness. Im not saying if you are overweight/underweight and unhealthy than just accept it and learn to love yourself regardless, you can still love yourself but work towards goals which will make you healthier and happier but honestly as cliche as it sounds the ideal weight for you is the weight you can enjoy life to the fullest.