Perfectionism is something i’ve struggled with for a long long time. In every aspect of my life, i think many of us feel the need to be liked by everyone..excel academically..look perfect etc etc. But the problem here is we never appreciate the succeses we have made because in the eyes of a perfectionist we could always have done better.
Whilst its great to constantly strive to better yourself, there are times where you should give yourself credit for what you have achieved and stop. Make new goals to work towards and just enjoy where you have got to.
These past couple of days have been a perfect example of this for me. I have defered my place for Law with International business at northumbria next year and have that place guarenteed. But all of a sudden i realised that if i re-took my Spanish A-level, and got the grade i was initially predicted, i could come out with 3 A*s and apply to do Law at Cambridge so that was is..my sights were set. However, looking at this from another perspective, i was lucky to get any A-levels at all for a start considering i was in hospital. Secondly, the course i have at Northumbria is perfect for me..with the additional business side to expand career prospects and an optional paid placement year abroad. Lastly re-taking the spanish and re-sending my UCAS would set me back over £100. So all in all the logical part of my head tells me to just know i did well enough…if i was well could i have got three A*s? do you know what? i probably could have done. But there are alot of things i could have done had i not have been ill for the past four years, and i would have probably not gone down the academic route at all and tried to get into dance but that is no longer the case.
If we constantly chase unrealistic goals, we miss out on so much because we’re too busy trying to improve the lives we already have to actually enjoy them.
So farewell perfectionism, it is what it is and i will make the most with the cards i’ve been played.
Much love..Emma xo