DO NOT PANIC

Sometimes it’s a bit like having a misbehaving child inside your head. All of a sudden it goes off on one without warning and you have to talk to yourself to try and calm it down and see logic. That’s how it felt this morning anyway.

I’ve increased my intake since coming home to try and speed up the weight gain process and i realised this morning i’d gone from maintaining, to gaining a pound in two days which is extremerly quick for me. Automatically that small child went a bit crazy and thought ‘what the hell is going on?!’ *enter illogical thoughts* ‘i’ll never stop gaining so quickly’ ‘ill overshoot my target weight’ blah di blah di blah.

However, sensible head back on..not only is my body still in survival mode, so prone to putting weight on quickly at this stage, something that will slow down in time (a concept i explained here:https://findingemmablog.wordpress.com/2015/10/08/food-as-medicine-and-the-irony-of-an-anorexic-needing-2500-calories/) but WEIGHT FLUCTUATES, and by next week it may have appeared to have reduced for all i know, so i cannot panic and restrict.

Our weight changes day to day, so if you need to weigh yourself, i wouldn’t recommend doing so anymore that once a week. This can be due to high salt intake and water retention, the ‘time of the month’ for you females, or food in your system. So eating a large meal one evening may make it appear as though you have gained weight over night, but this could be due to it still being in your system, not having been fully digested yet. This is not ‘true’ weight gain, genuine weight gain and loss occurs over a long period of time and requires consistency with a calorie surplus or defecit. This is why sometimes a better indicator of your weight can be how your clothes fit, and how you look in the mirror-a stage I can’t wait to get to.

Not to mention muscle weighs more than fat, so even BMI isn’t the best indicator of health! Use your eyes, use your brain and be happy! Don’t let that number on the scales panic you. It is your relationship with gravity and nothing more.

A last little note…another thing this morning that has prevented panic and rash decisions has been seeing a video posted by a friend of mine on facebook. Sophie Cussons is an insanely talented girl i danced in sixth form with and recently posted this dance on facebook…https://www.facebook.com/sophie.cussons/videos/10208204917147717/?pnref=story…I automatically assumed this would be from the dance college she attends because the standard was so high, but it was actually from a commercial class in leeds that i would be able to go to when i’m well! The realisation that i could still dance to this level in my spare time, despite having ruined my chances of a dancing career is SO exciting for me, and I’m thrilled there are choreographers and dancers with so much talent so close to home that i can get involved with! Give me a few months guys and ill be joining you 😉

Lots of love as always..Emma xo

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