It’s been a while since i’ve posted but in all honesty i haven’t had all that much to say! Today however has altered that entirely!
I spent the day at Leeds Trinity with my lovely sister and had a little wonder around the christmas markets. I was so determined to do something to challenge myself mentally, as although i don’t mind the idea of having enough calories to gain weight anymore..having those calories from ‘bad’ foods is still something i struggle with..despite the fact I only have those foods once in a while as part of a balanced, healthy diet. Clearly this is extremerly anorexic thinking as sugar is not poison and everything in moderation right??
So we had lunch at wagamamas and it was loveeellllyyyy! We had a pitter patter around the german xmas markets (although we’re going to go to the manchester ones next time), but the real challenge arrived unexpectedly..in caffe nero..
we went in knowing what we wanted..katie wanted a hot chocolate and i had decided to treat myself to a mocha, however when we got in there was a new ‘festive menu’ which had a praline latte neither of us had tried..katie decided to have that instead and despite actually fancying a mocha I decided to go with the flow with it being a christmassy day and all. Soon after though, i realised that the ‘praline latte’ was actually just a festive name for a hazelnut latte you could get any time of year..and not only that but there is a sugar-free hazelnut syrup available. So now, not only did my chosen drink have more sugar than the one i actually wanted..but i was about to consume over 40g of sugar in a drink that could have been sugar-free..
I kept my shit together at the time but it really shook me up. I spoke to katie about it though and she really helped me put it in perspective..
1: i need the extra calories anyway to gain weight so its irrelevant
2:i didnt know at the time i ordered it so i cant be annoyed at myself for something i didnt know3:it may seem like alot of ‘added sugar’, but in general i dont have alot of added sugar so once in a while isnt going to do me any harm..its sugar not arsenic
4:i handled it well and drank it anyway which is a massive step forward mentally…there may be other situations in life where you have to eat/drink something you wouldnt normally have or even enjoy but you dont have a meltdown..you just deal with it..and if its something you can control you know for next time.
so all in all it was a lovely day and most importantly i did the best i could to reach my no1 goal which was to make my sister proud which i hope i achieved!!
Lots of love…Emma xx